When you get caught walking into a screen door. Roadside memorials, "must we be reminded every day that your family was killed in a car accident? When a girl says "What are you thinking about?" Honey I was wondering how I was gonna remove the soap scum from my shower...........People who write on their car windows with soap celebrating a highschool sports event, a dead relative, friend or wife. Ever see those? I actually took a picture of one on the way to work a few weeks ago. I gotta find that..WTF? Zipping up a zipper only you have it split at the bottom and separate. Fat people that say they have a "thyroid problem". Stop eatin so many goddamn thyroids then! Anyone I am driving behind that brakes uphill. TELEMARKETERS! The Quaker Oats guy. People with extremely long fingernails. Fans of the Dave Matthews Band. You either carry a purse, or ya want to! Faith Healers. People who use cell phones while driving. People who dress up like Betsy Ross or Ben Franklin. Oh is that annoying! Stupid gameshow contestants!!! Dogs that bark too much! I hate when its YOU....who flips the switch for the last time as the bulb burns out! (anyone ever just say fuck it and leave it for the next person?) People who blow their nose like a ship coming into port. What is with that anyway? Can't you blow in a civilized manner?? Oh and especially in a restaurant, I had a guy sitting behind me in a Burger King who sounded like he was warming up for the god damn symphony. Take it to the bathroom jerkoff! Standing at a urinal and looking down to notice your shoe is untied, in a puddle of piss! That fight with a brand new roll of toilet paper, where its in there so tight it only allows you a piece of paper at a time. Worse yet.....less than that!? Resturants that sing Happy Birthday when one of your asshole friends tell them its your birthday. The "sport" Cricket! WTF is that? People that grab their entire head and crack their necks. THE CHICKEN DANCE! High fives........ Handlebar moustaches. Can you look anymore fucking dumb? God! People who talk over me when I'm speaking. STOP and listen! People that cut you off like a bat out of hell only to go slow after they are in front of you. Being at a convenience store in a long line created by the one asshole that needs a money order. The extra leakage you get sometimes when you think you are done peeing, you go to put it away and HELLO!!!! You aren't? Any parent these days that would name their son..."Dick". I don't care how far back the name goes.. Kids will make fun of your kid in the goddamn nursery with a name like that! People with small dogs that carry them around. Old ladies with wigs that stand out by being a totally different color...or crooked! Burning the roof of my mouth, driving behind anything I can't see around. Toilet seat lids that won't stay up because of some fuzzy designer cover. (Guys agree?) C'mon Ladies! Anyone who says "Sweet"! when describing something cool. People who worship rock stars (Music is nice to hear) and it is a talent, but That is it ok? Holidays, birthdays and religion, lawyers and jury duty. Anything having to do with Nascar and the people who somehow think its cool. (It just isn't) Garden burgers (what freak thought that up?), Tough guys, Body builders, Bruce Springsteen (what an annoying douche bag!). The last 20 cents when pumping gas with a wind chill factor of 12 degrees. Can it go any slower?)When you are at a restaurant and your mouth is totally full inevitably the waitress come over and says "HOW IS EVERYTHING"? I should just talk and spit food at them. Honey I waited an hour, a shoe would taste great! Being behind anyone who gets to the checkout counter and refuses to have have their money ready or haggles over whether it is priced right or searches for correct change. JESUS CHRIST! that pisses me off! Fake people, liars, flighty women, the Dallas Cowboys. People who that live in the US and don't bother to learn the language. Driving behind a student driver. That 70's Show. Laundry. People who wave their heritage or sexual orientation like it really mattered to anyone. I don't care what you do or what you are just shut the hell up about it! Metallica (sell out much?), white trash, stupid people, dial up internet access. That first blemish on a pair of brand new white sneakers, impatience (one of the things I hate most). People who think they can sing and just plain can't. GUYS WHO WEAR SANDALS!!! (Do ya suck dick too?) Golf!!!!!! People who are behind you in line that are way too close to you and you move forward, and they do too, not giving you your "personal space"? OMG I HATE THAT!!!! The voice of the guy from the Empire carpet commercials... (That's local folks but if yer local you know who I am talking about) I need to get a clip made of that. When you wake up from a dream like coming into money and you wake up to find that YOU'RE STILL YOU! People who blink too much, I don't trust em. Trying to dial a phone number that is made up of a clever phrase. Like 1-800-Mattres. (I left off the last s for savings) Who has time to sit there and disipher this code? People who carry and use hanker chiefs. Who's idea was it to blow their nose into a cloth and carry it around all day? They make tissues now, in fact for the past like hundred years... Blow your nose, and throw it the hell out! Biting a fingernail just a bit too far and the pain lasts all day and you feel it with everything you touch. Buttoning up a shirt the wrong way only to unbutton it and do it wrong AGAIN! The question mark outfitted guy on TV that trys to sell us a book on how we can get free money from the government. Running up or down a flight of stairs and somehow miscalculating? Going upstairs in the dark and taking that "extra" step you don't really need?